Our First View of Reality

So we got the psych evaluations on the two kids that we were looking in to adopting.  We weren't prepared for what we read.  They came from an abusive environment and were so affected by it that they may have issues that will never be remedied.  Neither of them are very verbal and have major behavior problems.  The evaluations were enough to bring me to tears.

We knew that this kind of thing may exist, but this is the first time we've seen it.  We have decided that we would probably not be a good fit for these boys.  We are green parents and don't know how to deal with situations that severe.  Yes, we could learn, but I could see this kind of thing causing a riff between the two of us, which isn't good for anyone.

We feel horrible having to say no.  These boys are in their situation through no fault of their own and I really wish I could help.  We're just not there yet.  We couldn't help but think about their future. They will likely stay in the foster system until they're 18.  After that, who knows what the future holds for them.  I can't help but wonder if a lot of the people that end up on a bad path have to start out their lives this way.  They don't really stand a chance.

Submitted Our Home Study

So we have talked a lot about the two kids that we found on the web site.  We have decided to move ahead and submit our home study.  This doesn't mean we're committing to adopt, but that we are interested in learning more about the kids.  Barring any major red flags on our side and should their case worker think we're a good match, we may just move ahead with the adoption.

The steps from here are not clear for me, but I suspect things may move quickly.  The kids are on the other side of the state.  I'm not getting too excited yet, because it's still pretty early in the process.  However, Matt and I have discussed this quite a bit, and we think we're ready.  Let's go!

Our First Inquiry

Once a week, I browse through the Texas Adoption and Resource Exchange (TARE) web site, where they list kids that need to find their forever homes.  It's usually older kids or kids with some serious issues, but this week I came upon a pair that looked promising enough to prompt me to email our case worker.

It's two boys, brothers, ages 3 and 7.  It sounds like a good match.  We'll see what our case worker has to say about it.  That's as far as this has gotten, and we may find out that they are a bit too much for us to handle, but it's a start!

The holidays without kids

As each holiday comes and we don't have kids, I get more excited about the things that we will do as a family.  Right now, holidays really don't mean much to us.  Sometimes we'll go through the motions - tomorrow (4th of July), we're having a few friends over, grilling out, playing some yard games and might go check some local fireworks.  All in all, though, we could take it or leave it.

I imagine what these days will be like when we have kids.  I think back to my childhood and how special holidays were - fireworks, carnivals, family and friends, food, music, etc.  I can't wait to start those traditions with my kids and make these times special for them as well.

Our social worker popped by for a home visit this week, but still nothing on the horizon.  There is a web site that we can go and look for kids awaiting home, but they are mostly older kids with very special needs.  We're just being patient and I know our time is coming!